Bad Habits

I have a couple of bad habits (actually, I have dozens of bad habits but this post is only about two of them.) that have reared their ugly head recently. The first is that I tend to want to avoid any uncomfortable situations or confrontations as much as possible. It's like I stick my head into the ground and pretend it isn't there until I actually have to deal with it. This is terrible and really immature of me. I was supposed to do some paperwork and write a petition weeks ago and now I have to do it and it makes me worried because what if the petition gets denied? Then I am up shit creek and I don't know how to swim.

The other habit is that I also really and truly believe that doing nothing breeds the need to do more nothing. You can't ever have enough time to do nothing and at the end of the day, you have accomplished, well, nothing. I did this the year after I graduated college. I had a job but even that seemed too stressful and all I wanted to do was be at home watching Netflix, or in other words, lying around doing nothing. It was pretty terrible and in retrospect, I was probably mildly depressed. I even lost the love for reading everything but US Weekly and that's just embarrassing. I'm not doing exactly nothing in my life right now but it is very unstructured. I might have plans to work out or go out with friends or a mystery shop but this is not a regular schedule and the time I am not doing a structured activity seems to be wasted time. (Although my "wasted time" this morning was cleaning out the basement, mopping the kitchen and washing the dishes so gauge that as you will.) I just feel like a bum and I have so much energy that just seems to be festering. I need to smack myself around a little and get off my lazy ass and do something productive.